Playing "By Heart"

A couple of weeks ago I read this thought-provoking article by Anthony Tommasini for the New York Times. In it Tommasini suggests the convention of pianists playing solo repertoire and concertos by memory should be optional rather than a “requirement” for pianists nowadays. Reading this article (as well as performing two recitals within the past month) have gotten me thinking a lot about performing. Below are a few of my thoughts.

I found Tommasini’s arguments fascinating, but I disagreed with a few of his main points. Mainly, Tommasini says, in reference to whether or not a pianist uses music while performing, “What matters, or should matter, is the quality of the music making, not the means by which an artist renders a fine performance.” On the surface, I would agree. But then I began thinking, maybe the means is part of the performance. A few years ago I saw Menahem Pressler perform at James Madison University. It was a truly amazing performance in which he used a score. Years of mastery at the instrument were evident in Pressler’s wonderful performance, but I couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed that the music wasn’t played by memory. Maybe it’s because I always associate using a score with sight-reading and it’s only after I’ve mastered the piece that I no longer need to read the music. I feel, as a performer and an audience member, that performing by memory makes the music more personal. Maybe when I see a performer use a score I am made aware that the music is some kind of historical relic by a composer from the past. When no score is used, the music seems to "live" more, making me more aware that the live performer is active in the creative process.

I think performing, particularly by memory, is far more difficult than non-performers realize. It requires a mind of steel. After months of hours-a-day practicing, a performer presents his music to an often critical audience completely focused on him. After working so hard on the music, it's hard not to tie self-worth to how a performance goes. When performing from memory, I’ve found that there is a mental balance that must be reached and maintained throughout the performance to keep it from falling apart. Too much nervousness results in a shaky performance, not enough nervousness means I am not focused and can have memory issues. How to find that balance is difficult, and it isn’t always predictable. There’s no way to guarantee you’ll have that balance. Usually when I have that balance throughout a performance I feel completely immersed in the music and thoroughly enjoy myself. In these times I recognize that this is what God made me to do.

I am terrible at acting, but I find that when I perform the piano, I’m really an actor. I don’t consider myself an overly emotional person, but when I perform I am called to convey emotions that I may not be feeling on that given day. Performances that really reach the heart of audiences are those where a performer “bares his soul” and holds nothing back. I feel this is much more difficult to do if there were a score in front of me. Tommasini writes that it used to be considered the height of arrogance to play music by other composers without a score. It would almost suggest that the performer composed the music himself. But when I perform I want to feel like I am taking part in the creative process with the composer. I need to be fully convinced that my interpretation is far better than any other performance of the piece, that I'm playing it just the way the composer would have wanted it. That’s what can make the music of old, dead composers come alive today.

Part of me yearns for a world where performing by memory isn’t expected. I definitely could learn pieces much faster and they would be “ready for performance” much quicker. But wouldn’t that allow for more performances of music without musicians really knowing the music backward and forward? Maybe there’s something to the phrase “knowing the music by heart.”

The only way I might agree with Tommasini’s argument is performing concertos by memory. We perform chamber music with a score, and concertos are also a collaborative experience. Also, concertos allow no room for error. I can’t repeat a measure I mess up. I can’t “fake my way out of it." Performing a concerto with orchestra is both one of the most wonderful opportunities and the most nerve-racking experiences because of this very fact.

What do you think? Are you a pianist who wishes we didn’t have to memorize everything? Do you think memorization is an important part of learning music? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Pinteresting...

Well, after Jonathan's deeply thoughtful post, I thought I'd lighten things up a bit and post some recent Pinterest successes (mostly successes). First, food:

Philly Cheesesteak Stuffed Bell Peppers (click on photo for recipe)

I have to admit, one of the best recipes we've tried so far! Absolutely delicious. And yes, mine came out actually kind of looking like the picture.

Cheesy Cauliflowers Pancakes

Beyond delicious! Tasted like potato patties (but without the carbs). The only thing is that it was hard to keep them from falling apart - but then again, I almost always flip things too early. :)

Microwaved Potato Chips

I was skeptical if this would actually turn out well - but it did (the picture is one that I took of my own chips). These were delicious. However, they were also a lot of work. If I had a mandoline slicer it might have made things easier. But as it was, I sliced by hand. And then, you can only microwave 1 plate of chips (read: not very many) at a time - for every 4 min. of microwaving you get about 10 chips. AND there was frequent stopping of the microwave to check whether or not they were getting scorched. Needless to say, this is one I won't be doing very often!

Now the non-foods:

Yes, we're that lazy - I rigged up this contraption so that we could turn off the light while lying in bed. It works like a dream. Though not strictly from Pinterest, it was inspired by this website (I've also had success with # 4 and #27).

Granny Ripple Crochet Tutorial

If you're like me and you hate to read crochet patterns (ch 5, 3 dc in 5th ch from hook, sl st to join, 4 sc...whaaaaattt??)...never fear, you will like this! This was easy to follow and included lots of pictures. Not to mention that it is a simple yet pretty pattern to begin with. You get lots of blanket for the amount of yarn you use. In case you've missed it, I've linked the picture to the tutorial itself. 

This didn't work as hoped. The picture above shows my stove in the beginning stages. By the end, it still looked like that. :( Truly disappointing. I guess my stove is too far gone. 

Valuing Life

This past week marked the 40^th anniversary of the Supreme Court decision “Roe v. Wade.” Much has been written about abortion this past week, but I want to look at the issue in a little different light. To start off, I will look at another tragedy.

***

On December 14, a ruthless gunman entered an elementary school and shot and killed innocent children. The tragedy in Sandy Hook will unfortunately be forever etched in our memories as one of the most senseless acts of violence in our lifetimes. It also became a “call to arms” (no pun intended) for stricter gun control laws. As Barack Obama said, “meaningful action” must be taken. In another statement, Obama said that even though the issue is “complex” and often “political,” action must be done to save children’s lives. One form of action is to introduce laws to limit access to the kinds of weapons the shooter used.

Though I personally believe the world would be a better place without guns (though, to be clear, I don’t necessarily advocate for stricter gun laws), I think we have to ask ourselves: isn’t there a deeper issue? Our culture gasps at the atrocities committed at mass shootings, but goes to the movies and watches gun violence on the big screen for entertainment (I am guilty of this myself). Many in our culture even put themselves a little closer to the experience by playing “first-person shooter” video games. A different, but no less troubling, problem is that when most of us know someone who is hurting and dealing with anger issues, our individualistic and self-centered selves often ignore them. We think, “Someone else will take care of them, it’s not my responsibility.” 99% of the time these people won’t resort to gun violence, but if we cared more for those around us that are hurting, perhaps we could prevent more tragedies. I agree with Barack Obama that meaningful action must happen, but I think it needs to be much deeper than more gun laws.

***

Today is the annual “March for Life” in Washington DC. This year should be especially large because of the Roe v. Wade anniversary. I am deeply saddened by the laws in our country allowing for the murder of innocent children (in much larger quantities than at Sandy Hook elementary). But in a similar way to the issue of gun violence, I’ve come to realize recently that the issue of abortion is much deeper than what laws are in place and which party has political control. It pervades the whole culture.

First, more and more Americans seem not to care about this issue. I recently saw a survey stating that 7 in 10 Americans oppose a reversal of “Roe vs. Wade.” If we want laws to protect the unborn, we first need to pray for a culture shift. Secondly, I believe casual sex has been a factor. The issue of birth control is very complex, but while I don’t believe it’s inherently bad in the right situation, I think it has fostered a mentality among many that sex should be enjoyed without any worry of the “problem” of pregnancy. And when birth control fails, abortion – partly because it’s legal – is seen as an acceptable “back-up” form of birth control. In a godless society that views pregnancy as a “nuisance,” rather than a gift from God, unborn babies become “disposable.” This may sound harsh, but I’ll call it what it is: selfishness.

I don’t deny the issue is complex. Many women don’t feel financially or emotionally ready to be a mother. Sometimes they are pressured by a boyfriend to abort the baby.  On (extremely rare) occasions the life of the mother is at risk. Sometimes women are senselessly raped and become pregnant. It has also become a political issue. One risks becoming “anti-woman” in being pro-life (or “anti-abortion,” depending on what news source you read). But as Obama himself said, when referring to the tragedy of gun violence, if we can take action that would save even one life, wouldn’t that action be worth it?

Taking action might mean laws to protect the lives of those “unseen” by society, those without a voice: the unborn. But laws reflect the culture. It’s our culture that misunderstands comments like those by Senate candidate Mourdock, who was blasted for his statement that when a woman gets pregnant from being raped, it’s God’s will. Sure, his statement was probably unwise, but I can’t disagree with it theologically. No Christian in their right mind believes that being raped is a good thing, but when properly cared for, a woman who gets pregnant from such a horrible event can find redemption. Pregnancy can be a gift from God.

What we as Christians need to be praying for is a culture that values the lives of the unborn. A culture that values sex as to be saved for marriage, in which there can be a stable environment for a child. A culture that values pregnancy as eager expectation of new life, rather than a nuisance and unfortunate consequence of sex. And yes, a culture that cares for those who are faced with unwanted pregnancies. Our country doesn’t need laws protecting the unborn any more than it needs a broad culture change. A change only God can bring about.

Why Music?

Why Music?

Music seems to be a part of everyone’s life. Whether you listen to music on your iPod while working out, turn on the radio in your car, or just hear music in the elevator (unfortunately that’s where most of the world seems to hear classical music), I think it’s a fair assumption that you listen to music. But have you ever stopped to ask yourself: Why music? Why do we listen to it? Why do we enjoy it? And as a Christian, what does music have to do with my walk with Christ?

Most people in society have probably never asked these questions, but I think they can help point us to Christ when we think about music.

For most people, music is entertainment. Not that entertainment’s inherently bad, but I can’t believe that’s all there is to music. As a Christian, one way I experience music that’s beyond simple entertainment is corporate worship in church. Think about it: where else do people convene in large groups and sing together, unrehearsed? (Singing at a rock concert doesn’t count because the focus is on the performance of those on stage). Besides perhaps the National Anthem, this only really seems to happen in church. Also, no one who has grown up going to church can imagine a church service without music. There has to be something spiritual about music itself.

Another way I think music can bring us closer to God is it helps us express things that cannot be put into words. Romans 8:26 says “Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.” I recognize this in my own life. At times something doesn’t feel right in my spirit, but I can’t quite pin down what’s wrong. When I listen to music, such as a Mahler symphony, I often feel emotions I didn’t even know I had. I think it’s even more than just emotions. It’s something spiritual. I cried while watching Les Misérables, not just because of the story, I think, but because the story was told through song.

Lastly, I wonder how someone who has a purely atheistic worldview would answer the question “Why music?” I can’t think of any biologically necessary reason for music. I can think of no other reason as to why we have music other than it was God’s good pleasure to give it to us to enjoy, and in fact to enjoy God through our music! Just like appreciating a beautiful sunset or a view of the Grand Canyon, I am in awe of our Creator when listening to a Beethoven symphony or a chamber work by Brahms. I think our simple appreciation of beauty points to something beyond the natural world.

Music has always been a passion of mine, as has been my faith. But it’s been exciting to start seeing how these areas of my life fit together. Please feel free to add your own thoughts as a comment. Soli Deo Gloria.

The Good News

I debated whether to add to the "white noise" of blogs, articles and facebook posts responding to the tragedy in Connecticut. What can we do but grieve?

Last night I started seeing a quote by Morgan Freeman popping up around facebook. Maybe you've seen it. It was well-stated, I thought, and one of his main points was that we shouldn't focus our attention on who the killer was (as the "sensational" media does), that we should "forget his name" and instead remember the victims themselves.

As I was lying in bed, I realized that because I haven't been following the news very much (probably a good thing) I wasn't quite sure what the killer's name was. I could only vaguely remember that the killer's first name was Adam.

Adam.

In a footnote in my Bible it says "Adam" sounds like the Aramaic word for "Man." As I was thinking about this it struck me: this is not necessarily an indication on of one man's awful decision, but an indication of the depravity of mankind. And not just mankind's depravity, but my depravity!

I could say I would never do anything like this, but because of my sinful nature I am capable of committing a similar atrocity.

If I hate "my brother" (and I have), I guilty of murder. (1 John 3:15, cf. Matthew 5:21-22)

I, not exclusively a small group of Jewish religious leaders 2000 years ago, am responsible for Christ's death. (2 Corinthians 5:21)

According to Jesus' standards, I am a murderer.

Does this sound depressing? Sure. But there's another part to the story. Because of God's Grace, and only because of God's Grace, am I made righteous. (Romans 5:19) My sin is forgiven! I am no longer guilty! "While we were still sinners (THAT'S US!), Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8) I couldn't do anything to regain my innocence. Christ did that for me.

And that is Good News!

Pin Win? Or Pinstrosity?

In the months since getting married, Pinterest has provided a wealth of recipes to try. While I'm happy to report that none (so far) have been a disaster, there are a few that haven't turned out quite as I hoped. Today I'd like to share some of my favorite Pinterest recipes and a few ones that...might need some tweaking yet.

First - the marginally successful ones:

Salt and Vinegar Wings

I couldn't ever get mine to look like the picture. Granted, I did use drumsticks instead of wings. They tasted fine, but they weren't crispy. And every time that I've tried it so far, I've tossed them in the salt+vinegar before baking, in the middle of baking, AND at the end.

Zucchini Parmesan Bake

Mine still stuck to the pan and turned out limp and kinda mushy. As for the taste - it wasn't really anything that special. Maybe I just need to try it again?

And some favorites:

Orzo with Spinach

Super quick and easy! Loved this and will definitely do it again.

Tomato Basil Parmesan Soup

A hearty, delicious soup with lots of veggies. Did I mention that this is a crockpot recipe?!?

I recently made this with 2% milk instead of half and half, and it tasted fine. While the recipe says to cook on LOW for 5-7 hours, I think it needs more time than that. I put the crockpot on HIGH for about 4 hrs. and then on LOW for another 45 min. at the end, and the veggies still had a bit of crunch. If you like your soup chunky, then this is probably good enough. If you like your tomato soup a bit smoother, then I would puree it at the end.

Salted Caramel Pretzel Bark

This is DELISH! Also very unhealthy. But hey, it's cheap and easy to make to give away in bulk, especially over the holidays. I followed the recipe exactly and it worked great for me!

So there you have it. I've tried quite a few other Pinterest recipes, but most of them were mediocre and not really worth mentioning. Maybe some of them will make it into my next Pinterest blog post. :)

Through a Veil of Tears...

Many of you probably know that my family and I lost a dear friend last week – “Uncle” Chuck Schumann. Closer than any blood relative, I can't remember a time when he wasn’t my “uncle” and friend across the street. Over the years he did ministry with my parents, gave us kids rides on his motorcycle, walked into our house (quite frequently) to hang out and snitch dessert, supported us (kids) in our various musical endeavors, and mentored and led us as we traveled to Taiwan to serve the Lord. He skied and played paintball with us. He loved to joke and laugh and delighted in the thrill of adventure everywhere he went. He lived a full life.

Walking into my house unannounced...typical. :)

The past few weeks have been full of tears and crying out to the Lord to heal Uncle Chuck. Which…He did. The Lord healed him in the best way possible – by freeing him from his pain forever and placing a crown of righteousness on His faithful servant. Uncle Chuck is beholding the face of Jesus. He is singing with the angels and worshiping His Lord. What a glorious reward!

Those of us who are Christians are left here on earth with a strange mixture of joy, hope, and peace pierced with a deep aching sorrow. But while we grieve, we recognize that this is only a temporary separation, and that one day we will all be united with the King, worshiping together at His throne. May His name be praised!

Sometimes we feel angry at God for taking loved ones away so soon. But God is teaching me that I have no right to be angry. I felt angry because God “robbed” me of memories that still could have been made. I “deserved” one last memory with Uncle Chuck at my wedding. But no…the Lord gently whispered in my ear that none of that was mine in the first place. It is all God’s.

Yet we can’t discount the grief. It is good to grieve – but we must grieve as Job did. As his life came crashing down around him, he tore his robes and shaved his head. But then…he fell to the ground in worship. And he spoke this truth: “The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised.” (Job 1:21b)

Always smiling. :)

I am thankful for the memories I had with Uncle Chuck. I am thankful for photos that were taken. I am thankful that I had the privilege of serving God together with him. I am thankful for the years of being his neighbor. But most of all, I am thankful that through His death on the cross and resurrection from the tomb, Jesus conquered death. Therefore, death is not the end – it is just “See you later.” We have the hope of being reunited. We have the joy and peace of knowing that he is free of his broken body and is receiving his reward in heaven.

I miss Uncle Chuck. So much that sometimes, all that I can do is sit and weep. Without him here on earth, there is a void that is no longer filled by his presence. But, through a veil of tears, I look forward to the day of the Lord’s return – when He will wipe every tear from our eyes, when we will finally behold the Father face-to-face, and when we can bow together in worship at His throne, singing praises to the Lamb who is worthy of ALL our praise.