On Grief

Grief is a funny thing. One day everything is fine, and then the next… well… open the floodgates!

It’s been about 3½ years since “Uncle Chuck”, a very beloved, influential man in my life went to be with the Lord. I grew up with him across the street from my house, dropping by multiple evenings a week (always just in time for dessert, of course :), giving me and my brothers motorcycle rides, and once I got older, leading my first overseas mission trips.

When he passed away, the grief was deep. The loss cut me to the core. The sobs: so gut-wrenching I couldn’t breathe. But time has brought healing. To be honest, most days I don’t think about it (that’s not too hard when I am so far removed in time and geography from my childhood home). And even when I do think of Uncle Chuck, there is some somberness, but mostly I smile because of the many good memories. But last week as I was thinking about my/our future plans to move overseas, this thought floated across my mind, “He would be so proud of me.” And the grief took my breath away. It was compounded by my next thought, “I wish he could meet my son, Levi. He would have loved him.” And I remembered that he didn’t even make it to my wedding because of his illness. Oh the tears, ya’ll.

He came over so often we even have a
picture of him walking through our front door!

I am grateful for this man’s influence in my life. I am thankful that he did have the chance to meet Jonathan (and vice versa). I am thankful for his leadership on the summer mission trips that were the catalyst for giving me a missional heart.

Thank you, Uncle Chuck. I am filled with joy that you have heard the words, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” I can’t wait to see you again.

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.

Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.

Leave to thy God to order and provide;

In every change, He faithful will remain.

Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heav’nly Friend

Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul: when dearest friends depart,

And all is darkened in the vale of tears,

Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,

Who comes to soothe thy sorrow and thy fears.

Be still, my soul: thy Jesus can repay

From His own fullness all He takes away.

Be still, my soul: the hour is hast’ning on

When we shall be forever with the Lord.

When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,

Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.

Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past

All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.